From Pain to Freedom via Peace and Bliss.

There are some journeys we choose.
And there are some journeys that life forces us to take.

My journey within began during a difficult chapter of my life. I was not searching for enlightenment. I was not trying to awaken any spiritual energy. Rather I wasn’t even aware of these terms and practices people do. I was simply searching for peace.

After years of disputes and emotional turbulence in my marriage, for me, the marriage became more of survival rather than partnership and love. I realised that I could not always change the circumstances around me. But perhaps I could change the way I responded to them.

So, I turned inward.

I joined a local yoga class where they introduced guided meditation on weekly basis. I liked to connect with myself through silence. So, I began meditating on my own for the mental peace. There was no teacher beside me, no elaborate spiritual practice and no expectation of experiencing anything extraordinary. Meditation was simply my personal refuge—a few quiet moments in which I could step away from the noise of life and find some strength within myself.

What began as a way to survive emotionally slowly became a way of understanding myself.

During those years, my children became my centre of gravity.
I stayed at home for my two children and took responsibility for their upbringing while managing the countless duties of a household and working as teacher. After quitting the job to take care of kids schooling, eventually I stepped into my own Design firm which was my creative forte.

There were days when the life seemed hectic and dry with endless responsibilities without the gentle love one deserves in life, a safe place to unwind and feel yourself.

But meditation gave me something that the outside world could not give me—a small, silent space where I could simply be myself.
I continued.
Year after year.

 I meditated for my own mental peace and inner strength, never imagining that one day my meditation would lead me into an experience I now understand as a Kundalini awakening.

The Day Everything Changed.
One day, after meditation, something extraordinary happened.
I suddenly experienced two sharp, electrical waves moving through my spinal column.
They seemed to begin around my hips, travel upward through my spine and move towards the crown of my head, as though an intense current of energy was travelling through me.
It was powerful, unfamiliar and completely unexpected.
I had no explanation for it.
I simply witnessed it.
I did not chase the experience. I did not try to recreate it.

I continued my meditation.
Then, a few days later, another profound experience occurred.
During meditation, I felt what can only be described as an oozing of blissful happiness from the region of my chest continuously and passing through each and every cell of my whole body. Amazing and unbelievable.
It was unlike ordinary happiness. There was no particular reason for it.
Nothing had happened outside me to make me happy.
Yet suddenly, for those moments, happiness seemed to arise from somewhere deep within.
My entire being felt surrounded by bliss.

There was no fear.
No anger.
No conflict.

No surrounding .
No past.
No future.

Only an extraordinary sense of being completely immersed in moment of bliss.

These two experiences became major turning points in my spiritual journey.

Through my own understanding of yogic spirituality, I also gathered knowledge from experts to understand these incidents and the journey. I came to understand them as manifestations of Kundalini Shakti—an awakening of dormant spiritual energy within.
I felt as though something within me had opened and begun moving through the chakras, bringing with it a completely different way of experiencing myself and the world.

The Real Awakening Was Not the Energy
Looking back, I realise that the most important part of my experience was not the sensations.
It was what happened after them.
My perception began to change.
I started looking at problems differently.
Earlier, I might have become emotionally caught up in a difficult situation. Gradually, I learned to step back and observe it.
Instead of immediately asking, “Why is this happening to me?”, I began asking:
“What is the real reason behind this?”
“What is this situation trying to teach me?”
“What is the wisest way to respond?”
Very often, the answers seemed to emerge from within. It felt as though meditation had created a quiet space inside my mind where clarity could appear. I began understanding the roots of problems rather than merely reacting to their symptoms. And that changed everything.

When Strength Became Compassion
One of the most beautiful changes was the growth of empathy and compassion.
As I became more aware of my own struggles, I began understanding the struggles of others more deeply.

I realised that people often act from their own fears, wounds, insecurities and experiences.
This did not mean accepting everything.
It meant learning to understand without immediately judging.

I also discovered that compassion and strength are not opposites.

You can be compassionate without being weak.
You can be forgiving without surrendering your boundaries.
You can be peaceful without being powerless.
My confidence grew too.
But it was no longer the confidence that comes from proving oneself to others.
It was the quiet confidence that comes from knowing your own mind.
I began trusting my ability to reason, observe and make decisions.
I became less dependent on external validation.
The more I understood myself, the less I needed the world to constantly tell me who I was.

A Different Way of Living
Today, I try to live through love, compassion, empathy, awareness and gratitude.
I sometimes describe my present state metaphorically as living in a “5D New Earth”—a higher state of consciousness in which I feel increasingly detached from unnecessary negativity and more connected to love, peace and inner awareness.

I enjoy life differently now.
I notice small things.
I appreciate people.
I value peace.
I protect my inner space.

And when negativity comes towards me, I try not to carry it forward.

There may be jealousy.
There may be misunderstandings.
There may be people who do not understand my journey.
But I have learned that I do not have to absorb everything that is directed towards me.
I can acknowledge it.
I can understand it.
And then I can let it go.

When I feel challenged by negativity, I turn inward and seek strength through meditation and what I experience as the divine presence within.
For me, spirituality is not about escaping the world.
It is about learning to live in the world without allowing the world to destroy your inner peace.

The Divine I Was Searching For
For years, I thought meditation was something I was doing to find peace.
Today, I feel that meditation was slowly teaching me how to find myself.
The difficult years were not meaningless.
The responsibilities were not meaningless.
The loneliness was not meaningless.
Even the conflicts that once caused me pain became part of a much larger journey of self-discovery.
They pushed me inward.
And when I went inward, I discovered a strength I did not know existed.
I discovered compassion where there had once been hurt.
I discovered clarity where there had once been confusion.
I discovered confidence where there had once been doubt.
And I discovered a profound sense that the divine I had been searching for outside myself was also present within me.

My Understanding of Kundalini
I do not claim that my experience is a formula for spiritual awakening.
I do not believe that everyone who meditates will experience the same sensations.
Every person’s inner journey is different. Their paths are different.
For me, Kundalini awakening became meaningful not because of the extraordinary physical sensations, but because of the transformation that followed.
The real awakening was in my awareness.
I began to understand more deeply.
Feel more compassionately.
Think more clearly.
Respond rather than react.
And live with greater love and less negativity.
Perhaps that is what awakening ultimately means—not becoming someone different, but becoming more deeply connected to who we truly are.

From Pain to Purpose
When I look back at the woman who began meditating years ago, I feel immense gratitude for her.
She was searching for peace.
She did not know what was waiting on the other side of that silence.
She could not have imagined that a simple practice undertaken during difficult times would become a decade-long journey into consciousness.
Today, I do not look at my past only as a collection of painful experiences.
I look at it as the soil from which my inner strength grew.

Pain pushed me inward.
Meditation gave me silence.
Silence gave me awareness.
Awareness gave me understanding.
Understanding gave me compassion.
And compassion gave me freedom.

I continue to meditate.
I continue to learn.
I continue to evolve.
I do not claim to have reached the end of the journey.
Perhaps there is no end.
There is only a deeper understanding with every step.
And today, when I look at life, I feel something I once desperately searched for:
Peace.
Not because life has become perfect.
But because I have changed the way I meet life.
The world outside may remain unpredictable.
People may love me, misunderstand me, admire me or even feel jealous of me.
But my centre is no longer dependent upon any of that.

I have found a quiet place within myself.
And from that place, I choose to live.

With love.
With compassion.
With empathy.
With courage.
With awareness.

And with gratitude for the divine presence I feel within.

Perhaps my greatest realisation is this:
**The awakening did not change my life.
It changed the consciousness with which I live my life.**
And that, for me, has been the greatest blessing of my journey.

— A personal account of my meditation and spiritual journey.